Sometimes I make a pretty plethora of idealistic plans which all sneak out of the picture, only to be replaced with plans that are nearly as good or better.

Today contained none of these things: Roller derby. A zoo. Exotic animals. Any friends who do not live with me. Dim sum. Depression. Anxiety. A moose. Socks. A coat. Clouds. Chainsaws outside my bedroom window.

Today DID contain a number of other lovely things. There is a certain joy in shopping. That joy belongs in the feeling you get after escaping the mall. You have not only survived the dread shopping center, but come back with delightful treasures! Like four skin-exposing summer shirts for $20! A shirt in which chemistry-related accoutrements converse about being attractive to one another! A lovely navy-blue corduroy blazer for the boy!

Then we made an epic journey all the way to the other side of Seattle! Well, we did go from Southcenter mall to Greenwood Avenue. That IS quite a ways. Especially since we had no real idea where we were travelling to...

But our ultimate destination was well worth the mystery. A mystery we made for ourselves and solved with a surprise. Starving, we dragged our exhausted and mall-ravaged selves into a wonderful oasis of BEER. Also, wonderful foods like ham & gruyere melts on ciabatta and cider dijon chicken sandwiches. But, THE BEER. Oh my goodness me. Paroxysms of lovely beery ecstasy were had by all involved. Each of us sampling the myriad delights of one another's glasses or bottles. Sam had Old Viscosity, Heather had a Petrus Oud Bruin, and I had a Black Raven Trickster IPA and a Lazy Boy Red Head Imperial Red. Everything was wonderful.

Wonderful.

And now I've just finished baking a perfectly gorgeous rhubarb crisp. It is filled with brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and plenty of oats. The pinkish-red rhubarb juices are bubbling merrily through the crunchy topping, which will soon lure me away from this post.

I love to update, but I love the siren's song of hot bubbly rhubarb crisp and vanilla ice cream oh-so-much more.

location: Living Room... OF DOOM! mood: cheerful music: Jason Webley - Dance While The Sky Crashes Down

So...

I am thinking of going to the zoo tomorrow. I was going to strenuously attempt to make it up to Bellingham tomorrow for the Betties bout and all, but (due to circumstances beyond my control) it will not be happening. I really did want to, I even planned to pay for peoples to go with me and such, but nope. Won't be workable.

Therefore, I must come up with a new plan for my Saturday. I am considering going to the Rat City bout, but the zoo sounds strangely delightful as of this moment. I am also open to other interesting options...

Dim sum may also be had, if tomorrow morning is like today and the sun makes me wake up at ten a.m. or so. But we'll see.

I'm also open to plans on Sunday, if anyone has any.

location: Waiting to leave work... mood: blah music: The Decemberists - The Mariner's Revenge Song

Hey...

Today I'm having a picnic/BBQ/potluck thing at Golden Gardens at around seven p.m. if anyone would like to show up and hang out.

Bring food to share, beer, happiness, and yourself. ^_^

mood: chipper

Well, sadly, it seems I have lost my Mariners-watching companion.

I may or may not need someone else to go on short notice. The game starts a little after 7 p.m. (so that is pretty damn short notice!).

I might already have someone to go with me, but if there is anyone out there who would just kill for the chance to go, I am pretty persuadable.

mood: disappointed

Well, if you're not going to sleep before 5 or 6 a.m., the least you can do is witness a bit of sunrise.

Especially when it colors the sky in streaks and smears of sherbet raspberry & tangerine, like God is a five-year-old fingerpainting with gelato.

Now, unfortunately, I should really go to bed. I have a Mariners game to see tomorrow!

location: Living Room... OF DOOM! mood: grateful music: The Decemberists - A Cautionary Song tags: baseball, god's fingerpaints, insomnia, seattle, sleepless delights, sunrise

Well, here I am. Relaxing on the couch after a long, hard day...

Relaxing on the couch. Heh. Also, watching Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan with my favorite boy. Also, (earlier) sitting outside on top of the carport in the dwindling sunlight with aforementioned boy and a Zach, along with a cup of my favorite Earl Grey and nicely toasted bread. Mmm, bread I baked myself (the best sort of bread, you know) with plenty of butter and honey. It was quite lovely, being with good people and smoking cigarettes while watching the cars drive past below.

Yesterday was much the same, really. I've been seriously slacking this weekend. I feel like I should do something productive, but I have no inkling what. Yesterday I did nothing but cuddle my boy and hang out with a Zach, who brought us the gift of an Ed Wood movie (Glen or Glenda!) and 28 Weeks Later (which I still haven't seen, since I'm such a bad zombie fanatic!), and shared pizzas with us. Which leads me to state with authority that ricotta and pizza are fantastic together. I'd somehow never considered the combination prior to this...

In keeping with my backwards narration of the last couple of days, Friday was also pretty damned wonderful. Well, except for the work part, really. I could've done without that bit. But it was Beltaine and I felt suffocated in my stifling office. The monotony of my work was tremendously difficult to focus on, almost too slippery to keep focused in my mind. I had to be my own stern taskmaster (taskmistress?), since the less time I spent working meant the longer I'd have to be there. Sigh.

I decided that all I wanted for Beltaine night was to walk in the beautiful warm night and take in the air. Since I like walks with vague destinations, I decided we'd search out a bar with some kind of quirky ambience that we could get to before bar-time. I told the boy to meet me at the bus station when I got off of work (around 11:15 p.m., hence the time worries), so our adventuring could commence.

The night was filled with the exhalations of flowers mixed with freeway exhaust and the smell of greenery insinuating itself into the harsher city smells. The wind was blowing in fits and starts, playfully testing out its legs. The air was warm and soft, while the city was strangely quiet. All of the action was taking place underneath the city's skin that night. We walked and chatted, my boy and I, of many things (cabbages & kings?).

Eventually, without hurry, we reached the bar of our choice. It is called The Hideout and it is terribly dim and adorably artsy. It seemed as if it should be tiresomely snobbish, but it somehow doesn't end up that way. It's just cozy and surprisingly private. The walls are covered (literally) in various paintings of all sizes. Their drinks are all made with fresh-squeezed juices and they have a modest selection of Belgian ales. It was remarkably pleasant. I ordered a drink containing applejack and a light rum (very apple-cinnamon sweet) and the boy ordered a very pleasant Belgian ale. The flavors complemented each other in our kisses and shared sips. We whispered to one another and may or may not have played footsies.

We wandered back out onto the streets. The boy climbed a tree and proclaimed himself the tallest. Streetlights shone gold. Spring air effervesced in our blood, bubbled out through our laughter. We realized that the long walk and the delicious air had rendered us ravenous. We wandered to our favorite Chinese restaurant in the I.D. and ordered a light dinner (at two a.m.!). Gorged, we meandered home and marveled at the sparkling city set before us from the bridge that takes us home.

Of course, then the real Beltaine celebration commenced. Paint me a lascivious grin, wink-wink nudge-nudge.

It must be spring.

location: Home Base mood: content music: The menu screen for Wrath of Khan tags: beauty, beltaine, happiness, holidays, joy, laughter, love, nighttime, poetry, seattle, sexing, springtime, the boy, walking

Does anyone want to go see the Mariners with me on Monday?

I got tickets for free from my work and I have no one to go with. I think it starts at 7 p.m.? But I'd really love company, if anyone would like to come with me...

mood: awake

#1: I have baked the most beautiful, artisan-style-looking, shiny, delicious loaf of sourdough bread of EVER. With Herbert the sourdough starter.

#2: I also baked a delicious, albeit deformed, loaf. It's the "special" loaf.

#3: I was just given Mariners tickets for my birthday. The game is on Monday the fourth of May (next Monday). Does anyone want to go with me?

#4: I also got a cheesecake containing four different kinds of chocolate cheesecake. I am feeling the love.

#5: Work is eating my brain.

#6: I just wanted to add a #6, since it's my favorite and luckiest of numbers.

That is all.

location: WORK, WORK, WORK, SPLAT. mood: busy music: Imaging machines in the background.

Well, this is it, folks...

My 24th birthday. On April 24th. The only time my birthday and age shall ever match.

I am thankful for small things today:

- Going out for drinks with friends tonight on Cap Hill. Anyone want to join?

- Having a random assortment of Black Drop peoples yell, "Happy Birthday!" into Johnny's phone at me. I cried. For serious.

- Being a successful sourdough starter creator. My Herbert is frothier than a madman with rabies brushing his teeth. I am proud of my ability to culture yeast and bacteria in a jar.

- Love, sweet love.

- All sorts of pretty people in my vicinity, along with the freedom to do something about all that prettiness.

- Everyone who has texted me or e-mailed me to wish me well on this birthday.

location: Worky work. mood: calm music: The Decemberists (random songs)

Happy birthday to me, as of twelve minutes ago...

So, the plan as I see it:

Tomorrow night, when I get off of work at about ten-thirty, I am going to go out for a drink or two somewhere on Capitol Hill or elsewhere. I just want to have a couple of nice, quiet drinks with awesome people whom I love. Does anyone want to meet up?

Then, Saturday and Sunday, the confusing days. I considered doing something vaguely picnicky. Or trying to get someone to pay my way into the Merc. But I don't know if either of those will actually work.

I am also considering going to Sir Eddy's. IF someone out there would be kind enough to pay for me and Sam to get in. We don't have enough money for the gate fee. It would be a nice birthday present. Food and booze would be pretty rad, as well.

If that doesn't work, I will probably wander aimlessly around Seattle all weekend.

That is about it for this weekend.

I would like people to definitely meet up with me next weekend for a picnic on Saturday, if anyone is up for it. Also, maybe barhopping afterwards, if anyone would like to fund my birthday boozing...

*fingers crossed*

mood: blank

Now to see if my sourdough bread dough will actually rise...

location: Bedroom (where the sexy time happens). mood: bouncy music: Giggling Sam reading Girl Genius and XKCD. tags: baking, bread, cooking, cthulhu cooking, domesticity, happiness, herbert, lovecraft

Tonight we discover if Herbert, my sourdough starter, has survived the re-animation process.

Hopefully, in the next few hours, he will have achieved the next stage of his life and I will have accomplished making life!

Or at least a sourdough sponge.

location: Like any good woman, in the kitchen. mood: amused music: My Own Maniacal Laughter tags: baking, bread, cthulhu cooking, i am god, insert evil laugh, lovecraft

Being that I am the only employed member of my household at the current time, I don't believe I can afford to have a birthday this year.

I cannot afford to go to Sir Eddy's. I cannot afford to go out clubbing. I cannot afford to go out to dinner.

Happy 24th birthday to me.

mood: annoyed

I have a question-type thing for y'all...

Does anyone out there have mad photography skillz, or know someone who does?

Would you, or this other person, be willing to do some sort of (fun, crazy, erotic, horror-themed, elegant, goth, steampunk, or whatever) photoshoot with me?

I'd like to start a modeling portfolio, which sort of requires good pictures of me.

Any and all help would be super-awesome-amazingly appreciated.

(if you want, i'll figure out some kind of payment. you know, delicious baked goods or cute made objects.)

location: Bed. mood: hopeful music: The Simpsons tags: help!, hopes, modeling, photography, requests

I am not in a good mood right now for some unknown reason. Perhaps hormones, that catch-all stereotypical female malady...

I don't know. Maybe I've just never managed to catch up on much-needed sleep from the last couple of weeks...

I just don't know, really.

I just find myself entirely too irritable and liable to snap at the smallest thing. Mostly small things that make me feel hurt for very little logical reason. I just feel suddenly wounded and feel the strongest, strangest urge to lash out. Hurt animal pain reaction, I suppose.

*sigh*

On a slightly better, or more amusing, note:

My dreams continue to be incredibly vivid, intense, and convoluted. Bizarrely, though, they have also contained some of the oddest sexual situations that have ever turned up in my dreamworld. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have had some mighty strange sexual dreams. I have a pretty strange psyche, altogether.

But lately it seems as though my mind is tilling the fertile underside of my mind and turning up every random fetish it can. It's a strange Alice-in-Wonderland-esque series of events involving gender-bending, violence, latex, intense submission, priests, and a memorable scene involving being covered in milk. WTF, brain!?

If I can just harness the raw colors and emotions contained within these dreams, I think that my writing could benefit immensely. It's not all sex, either. I wrote about some of it in an earlier entry. There's also been scenes of escape, plantation grounds that are fertilized yearly by a multitude of frogs hopping in unison down the carefully raked rows, and intimidating a giant in a HUGE treehouse into having tea with me (so I could give him a stern talking to).

I feel like something is building in me.

location: My Room mood: creative music: Heather typing... tags: depressed, dreams, emotions, i'm a city, i'm okay, mood playgrounds, oddities, sex, ugh, violence

I am going to roller derby this weekend! <3

Also, what are people doing for the weekend of the 24th? It's my birthday, dammit, and I need more feedback about people and what they'll be doing.

On another note: Did anyone on here leave any of their stuff in my room @ Norwescon? I have a wide variety of things that do not, in fact, belong to me.

And lastly, I haz Twitter! My name is Psychopomposity on there, so if you haz one as well, ADD ME!

location: STILL AT WORK. mood: cranky music: THE SCREAMING OF MY WEARY BODY.

I appear to have mastered the art of updating my twitter from my phone. Go me!

Now, to bed. If I can somehow tear myself away from Perdido Street Station, after almost a week of forsaking it for convention preparations, Doctor Who watching, and then convention-going.

Really, though, need to sleep, dammit.

location: Bed. mood: sleepy music: Michael talking about giant underpants.

So, I am trying to figure out just what exactly to do for my birthday celebrations.

My birthday is on April 24th. Which is a Friday. Which I have to work on. But whatev, really.

That is also the weekend of Sir Eddy's. Which I haven't decided to go to yet. What I'd really like to know is, who all is going to Sir Eddy's? Who all is NOT going to Sir Eddy's? Who would like me to have some kind of crazy sushi and clubbing night that weekend instead?

Who wants to be with me on my birthday? That's what I really want to know.

location: Still at work. mood: curious music: Click-clack-click...

I feel pretty today. So, in the spirit of shameless vanity, here is a picture of me:

Last night, I dreamt of making art in junkyard houses.

I dreamt of killing strangers to take over their identities. Effortlessly slipping on their personas like sliding smoothly into still water.

I dreamt of churchs that were waystations.

I dreamt of runaway tour-bus traincars, careening over treetops and through the swamps.

I dreamt of two lost mining towns side-by-side in the bayou, each ruled by feuding gods. A mix of minorly outdated modern technology and a sensibility out of the 1920s. An angry idiot redneck-god and a strangely savvy god-woman decked in Armani.

She took me aside, so we could do lunch.

location: Work. mood: busy music: Tappity-tapping keyboards. tags: dreams, surreality